I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
