Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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