but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
