This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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