what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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