If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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