i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
