i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
