Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
