I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
