We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
