Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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