YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize