is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
