were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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