I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
