the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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