Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
