dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
