My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
