Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
