awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
