Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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