alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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