I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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