so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
