What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
