He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
