These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
