The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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