I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
