Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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