Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
