Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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