I'm drive I can fine osifer
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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