oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
