can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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