Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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