I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
