I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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