He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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