Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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