even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
