id be glad to
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
