I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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