hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
