OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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