Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
