But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
