I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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