nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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