I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
