Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
