I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
porn star boner night. come get it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
