Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
