is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
