hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
