unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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