my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
