I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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